Monday, December 8, 2014
Today while cleaning out a closet I came across a collar and tags belonging to Molly Dawg, my first Golden Retriever. And my heart broke open again and I wept... not just for the loss but for the memories of the life we shared.
Molly was my ex-husband's and my first dog. We were a childless couple with cats who had talked of someday getting a dog, but never really pursued it. We dog sat for a friend who had a huge black lab named Merlin. He was the sweetest, gentlest, most perfect dog ever. Until we met Molly.
I went to the Humane Society to drop off donations and somehow wandered into the dog area. I passed by puppies and adults, murmuring to them, saying prayers that they would find a forever home. I looked and cooed and passed on. Until I saw her: an old lady Golden whose dark red coat was matted and tangled. Her eyes locked on mine and she sat gazing at me. I walked over and stretched out my hand and she sniffed politely and gave a little lick. She looked so sad, so resigned, so lonely. I was weeping by the time I got to the car. I cried all the way home and burst through the door sobbing...
Needless to say we raced back to the shelter and adopted her.
She was about 8 years old and unsprayed. We had to wait a day to collect her. I took along a shot of pain medicine from the vet clinic where I worked at the time. We took her home and began the best 4 years of our share life.
She went on vacations with us. She made us laugh and appreciate the moment. I think in some ways she held together our crumbling marriage...
When she left us right before Christmas something in the both of us died. The world was bleaker, darker and colder that Christmas. No presents for anyone. Just the heart breaking sorrow of losing the world's best dog.
Finding her belongings swept me me back to that dark time, but it also reminded me of the joy she brought in our lives and into the world. The unconditional love that entered out hearts and in a way, still remains. Perhaps that is the lesson she left me, that there is darkness and coldness, but there is a time when we all leave our sad shelter and get a second chance at happiness...
Thank you Molly Dawg for all the lessons and love you gave me.
And Merry Christmas in Heaven.