Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Changes

In the enormity of a life changing situation, the small things are the ones that break the heart.

I have found that during a period of change the little things that one takes for granted are the things hardest to let go. A ring, a photograph, a letter...

The big things are easy: couches, bookshelves, tables and chairs hold little attachment or sentimental value. But gone are the everyday gestures, turning the ring round and round as you think, glancing at the picture and remembering that day, that hour, that moment.

Finding a letter from another time and space inside your life. A card filled with humor and inside jokes.
A handkerchief that you mistakenly thought was someone else's. Realizing that reality was actually an illusion. That some of the illusions were real.

Sorrow walks side by side with freedom. Solitude and loneliness waltz around trying to decide who will lead for the next hour.

Rooms await repainting, furniture shifts, walls get new pictures and the physical space transforms.

But the inner landscape? It too is changing, unseen to others (hopefully) feeling like chaos theory being birthed in the soul. Emotions are rising, falling, ebbing, flowing, washing away some memories while leaving others on the beach like broken shells.

Change leads to growth or death. Who shall be the victor?

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