So much has happened lately. My heart is full to bursting.
I started a new job within my agency as a supervisor. I debated seriously before taking it. It meant giving up working as a therapist and becoming more of an administrator and adviser. But in the end, I decided it was time for a move.
Being a therapist is both a joy and a sorrow. There is so little one can to “change” others.
One has to help them recognize and encourage that change is good but amazingly difficult.
I had so many cases where change was not possible or acceptable. My heart was weary from the constant breaking…
There were a few “successes” where my clients were able to better their lives, change old habit and begin to believe their lives could be better. But of late, those were far and few between. My clinical director told me I had “compassion fatigue” and I have to agree, I did.
After two very rough years of personal loss and grief, I realized I could no longer let fresh grief into my heart. My soul was weary. My anxiety and depression at all time highs. My health was suffering and I had a deep enduring fatigue. It was time for me to change.
So I have stepped out of the role as therapist and into the role of supervisor and hopefully mentor. I still get to listen to people and their stories, but there is a bit more distance, a buffer surrounding my soul~ a chance to heal and become whole.
I can always to back to being a therapist. I can always go forward. Change is always possible. I just need to have the courage to step out on faith.