Monday, July 5, 2010

Survivor

This has been an interesting summer.
Here are the facts:
I turned 50.
My 22 year old cat, Buddy Love died.
3 family members were diagnosed with cancer within the same month.
I am on leave from work to take care of one of those family members, my husband of soon to be 21 years...

I have had hard times before and survived them. I know in my heart I am a survivor.
I may fall down, get up, fall again, cry, curse, but then I will get up and pull myself together.

However. I cannot do it alone. I need my friends, my family, my coworkers and neighbors.
These are recent realizations: That I am strong and that at the same time I need people, that it is okay to ask for help AND receive help.

I have experienced go much generosity and love this summer that I have begun to believe that humans, at heart, are good. I forget that from time to time doing the work I do. I see suffering and pain. I cannot save the world. I cannot save an old frail cat or even my husband, brother or aunt. I am learning to let go of control and depend on God. Not easy for a control freak, fix it all, caregiver, peacemaker, social worker like me...

I have learned that love exists everywhere despite time, distance and space...
I have learned that the internet can be a conduit for that love too.

I have learned that I can state that I am a survivor, that I am strong, that I need help.

Not a bad beginning for a summer.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You both write so very, very well. We genuinely appreciate your sharing. B&Bob