Monday, May 3, 2010

Doctor day...

Tomorrow is doctor day. First Jake and MO go to the vet. Jake gets his first set of adult vaccinations and yearly adult physical. MO gets his geriatric workup. Now the elder of our little family since the death of Buddy at age 22, MO has been a little off. Nothing major. Just not a kitten anymore at age 15 going on 16. As hard as it is to believe the giant 70 something pound dog was just over a year ago my 10# puppy, its harder still for me to believe that MO is no longer a kitten that I carried in my pocket at the vet clinic. Life has become so swift of late. Again as many times before I want to slow the moment, linger in comparative contentment with no changes.

But life is not to be stopped.

Also the hubster goes back to the doc to find out treatment options for his cancer. Again, I want to stop time, even rewind, replay those moments when we were fairly carefree.

Is it really all an illusion? Does memory trick us into believing that there were times when all was right and we were content and secure? Or will I look back on this dark time and remember only pain and fear? I hope to remember instead the friends who came forth, who stood by us and let us lean on them. Will I remember the love, the blessings the abundance in what currently feels like a time of deprivation and loss?

The mere fact that I am realizing there is love, blessings and abundance is key. The fact that I recognize there is darkness means I have known the light and trust in its return.

Memory is what I make it. I am choosing to make it good.

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