Tuesday, January 12, 2010

In remembrance of Molly

It has been over a year since Molly left us. Jake has grown from an irritating 10 pound puppy to an irritating but lovable 75 pound puppy who has some of Molly's sweetness. I would like to think she passed a bit of her wisdom on to him.

A few nights ago I dreamed of her. Molly came up beside me as I lay sleeping and began to lick my hand. In the dream I looked at her and exclaimed, "Molly are you okay?"
She said (in her Molly voice), "Mama I am fine, I don't hurt and I can run again!"
I awoke with tears on my face.

It was one of those dreams that did not seem like a dream but like a visit. I want to believe she is okay, that her spirit lives on elsewhere and that I will see her again and we will run together.

Then today I found this poem. I had forgotten I had written it. I love her still and miss her even now...

Molly

The sun is setting
lavender,
rose and
cobalt ribbons
a golden ball
in a dying sky.

She lies panting
her russet sides
heaving
her eyes closed,
her paws move in
dreamlike chase
of rabbits
squirrels
or deer…

She is dying,
my dog.
Her days shortening
like the summer
that is ending
outside my window.

The leaves are changing
to match her coat
rust, brown,
golden red,
soon I could lose her
in the woods
were she to lie down
amidst the piles
of oak and maple
leaves.

She has been by my side
in summer heat,
winter cold.
She has listened
to my human tales of woe
and leaned so fiercely into me
that I could not fall
though my world was crumbling.

She has walked with me
her life entwined with mine,
a companion, a pet,
a friend, a healer of my heart.
I watched as she has grown older
her instincts dimming,
her hearing gone,
her steps slowed by pain,
no longer the pup running
to greet the rain
digging up the flowerbeds
or chasing her beautiful
full tail
she is dying now,
my dog.

She deserves mercy.
she deserves peace.
She deserves all the love
I can give her.
I hope I can be brave;
I hope I can be strong;
I hope when it is time
I can let her go.

2 comments:

Katie! said...

My God, so beautiful.

You are and always have been so brave. It is one of my favorite things about you, one of the things that I respect and love most.

xo

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.