Monday, July 13, 2009

Body slams and blessings


Bad things do happen; how I respond defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have - life itself.-Walter Anderson

I talked today with my therapist about loss and grief.
(Yes, the therapist has a therapist. I am learning how to care for myself so that I may care for others.)

I realized I have been sitting too long in sadness. Mired down in my own fears and fighting with ghosts of things that may never happen...
I finally am sick of me.

So I took Jake to the dog park. There is nothing more healing than watching puppies, teenpups and old hounds run and leap and pounce.
Animals take joy in the moment. They live only in the present. They don't worry where the food will be, where they will sleep, what the other dogs think of them. They just exist, live, rejoice in the moment.

I was pounced on a lot. There is something about me that invites jumping on and drool.
Even the most well behaved dog will forget all training and pounce me, slathering me with drool and spittle whilst the owner cries out, "Down, get down! I don't know why he is doing that~! He NEVER does that!!!"
I don't mind in the least. In fact I think they know I need a bit of pouncing love right now. That I need life and happiness body slammed into my heart again. I think the dogs are trying to knock the sadness out of my bones and soul...

Animals are healers. They can sense pain. They can tell who loves them, who hates them and who is most allergic!

My therapist gave me an order. Everyday I must find 3 things for which I am grateful.
Today I am grateful for dogs, wounded children who share their souls, and my family who loves and sustains me, the forever baby sister, even though my hair is graying and my face is wrinkling. I am blessed.

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