Saturday, June 20, 2009

Indeed...

Who are you?" said the Caterpillar...
"I - I hardly know, Sir, just at present," Alice replied rather shyly, "at least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have changed several times since then."
--Lewis Carroll Alice's Adventures in Wonderland

I have been under some stress recently and I often have crying spells. Now it could be my age, rapidly approaching AARP land, or the delight delicately referred to as "the change" or the fact that life has just been horribly frustrating and hard lately.

Whatever the reason, I often feel like I change who I am several times daily. One moment I am capable, strong, able to handle crisis after crisis, soothe and protect; an hour later I am sobbing in my sister's lap, a lost lamb afraid of everything, driven to despair by the horrible "what ifs".

I hate this.

I am a control freak. I don't like not being in control. So how do I learn to let go?

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