Tuesday, August 26, 2008

10 things that make me smile

1. Cows licking their noses
2. Children with the giggles
3. Waking up in the middle of the night to find that I am holding hands with my husband
4. A new box of crayons
5. Clean sheets (the smell as well as the crisp feel)
6. Finding old friends online
7. Peas
8. A new toothbrush
9. A great haircut (at last!)
10. My sister's voice on my answering machine

Anticipatory Grieving

I am watching Molly Dawg slow down like a clock winding down, ticking slower and slower...
Molly is sleeping more, a heavy peaceful sleep aided by the fact she is pretty much deaf now.
She still is enjoying her food as well as the cats' food when she can sneak it. But she no longer chews her chewies or wants to walk long distances. She has been having a few accidents in the house as well. She is an old, old lady.
I don't mind cleaning up after her. I long ago decided my furry friends were more important than my material possessions. I just hate so much to see her aging so rapidly.
Dogs are very different from cats. They age at a much faster rate, and are not as good at hiding things like cats are. Cats are rather stoic and secretive, often much more ill than they ever let on, but dogs, dogs are honest and authentic. They are what they are, nothing more, nothing less.
Molly is still having more good days than bad. She is not suffering. She still seems comfortable and happy. But I know that my time with her is getting shorter. I may have a year, or several months left, but I know in my bones that all too soon, I will have to let her go.
Tomorrow though, I will call her Dr. and see if there is any other medication to help her arthritis. Maybe if I can get the creaky bones to not creak so much she will feel a bit better and thus so will I!


I got to hang out with cows this past weekend...
I helped a friend move to her grandparents' farm and spent the night.
It was lovely there.
Far off the road, no traffic noise, no street lights, no sirens or people shouting.
There was the sound of night birds, the lowing of cattle and an occasional yipping coyote. The night was dark and calm with the scent of hay and dew.
A thin haze washed over the stars as the moon played peekaboo with me.
I slept without dreaming, arose to a beautiful sunrise and watched wild turkeys cross the pasture following the horse and cows as they slowly grazed their way to the pond.
Later after eating a homemade walnut and chocolate chip muffin, I sat beneath a huge juniper tree in a swing with my friends and laughed and talked until noon.
Somewhere in there I also read a book cover to cover.
It was the respite I needed to start over again, to pick up where I left off and go back to work, renewed and rested.
Thanks Alycat.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Ending on a good note.

It was a not so good, terrible, horrible, plain out and out hellish week. It started with the death of Gypsy Lu, a beautiful dog friend of mine and continued to go downhill from there.
The client who shoved me continued to escalate each time I have worked with him, until this week when he had a complete meltdown into a raging tantrum, in my car, which involved pulling my hair, kicking, hitting, scratching, and throwing stuff... but I somehow, by the grace of God and a lot of determination, got him safely to school. However I was in tears and a bit shaken by the incident. Needless to say, I will not be transporting him again! But I will work with him in school from now on as he is just a frightened kid.
The worst news is that the hubster got fired, downsized, laid off~ whatever the correct term is when a company can no longer afford to keep staff due to these economic times.
It has taken us both by surprise and we have been riding a roller coaster of emotions.
I haven't cried this much in forever.
It came as a shock to both of us, the hubs has been w/ his company 10 years, has been loyal to the point of knighthood (in my opinion) and has worked long hours and given 110% but that didn't stand up against the red ink, I suppose. I am angry, sad, bitter and scared for him and us. But I have faith it will work out to be an opportunity for him in the end.

On a brighter note, the week did end with a miracle. My former co-worker and ongoing friend, Libby gave birth yesterday to her son Shaun (like Shaun of the Dead, seriously, they got a thing for zombies!) and both Mom and Dad and new beebee are fine and happy and just gorgeous. I managed to get over to see them and join Alycat and Katie for a quick snorglefest w/ the babby. Seeing a newborn, all sweet smelling, innocent, full of potential, surrounded by a circle of love proves to me there is hope, there is life, a chance to start over, begin again and so many possibilities where love abides...

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Princess Gyspy Lu

It is another sad day. One of Molly Dawg's Cedar Hill pack has gone to the Rainbow Bridge. Princess Gypsy Lu, a petite border collie mix, died yesterday morning after being hit by a car in the early dawn light.

Gypsy Lu was a sweet, dainty dog. She was one of the most loving creatures I have known. Gypsy and I often shared a bed at Cedar Hill Retreat. I would wake up on the edge because the Princess couldn't sleep long ways, she had to sleep cross ways and in the middle, with her tiny toes nudging me until I gave her enough room! Gypsy also was dainty in taking treats. The rest of the pack would wolf down their rolls, biscuits or whatever I offered them, but Gypsy would carry hers a few feet away and nibble it.

Gypsy loved to run. She would often lead the pack on chase. She and Mary (I called her the handmaiden to Gypsy's regal Princess) would just fly, skimming the ground, two tiny ladies in the front of the large gangly male dogs, graceful and quick, off to catch whatever had incited the hunt this time.

I remember the time Gypsy had spent the night trying to dig out a raccoon, she returned caked in mud, nose scratched, absolutely filthy, marched in very proud and plopped herself in the recliner at the Retreat Center as if to say "What? Brush me servant!"

Gypsy got tagged once by the hubster as he drove up the hill and she avoided cars for quite a few months after that. But the lure of the hunt proved too much. She learned to open the pet door and slipped out yesterday morning before the sun was up, when the dew was still on the grass, and before the night creatures where abed for the day. The primal instincts could not be ignored and Gypsy flew down the hill, across the creek and into the path of a car and immediately crossed the Rainbow Bridge.
Run free Gypsy. Enjoy Heaven's hunting. We will see you anon...


Its a small small world...
Alycat is going to work at a Cat Clinic where an awesome vet friend of mine is one of the docs. They didn't know each other before her move South to her family farm, but now they are working together!!!
Two of my most favorite peeps who have known and loved and cared for my meeps are going to be team mates. How cool is that????
OK, maybe I attemped a small bit of professional veterinary matchmaking, but really, God worked out the details!

more pics from a year ago

One year ago this week...

A year ago I was in Colorado with my family. My big bro (BB2) gave me a great gift of flying me and the hubster out to his lodge for a week. My friends watched the fur faces and I had the best vacation ever...
here are a few pics from that time. More will come...

Friday, August 15, 2008

Out of my comfort zone

My supervisor wanted me to take on some harder cases to "get out of the comfort zone".
I am out of it by a long way...
For example:

* I called the police on a domestic violence incident and now the family is mad at me because I made trouble...

* I have been pushed and shoved by a therapy client

* I am the person referring a kiddo to a year long residential program because of the severity of kiddo's problems...

*I was in a residence w/ an angry parent (angry at me) out the back door: 2 pit bulls, out the front door, angrier significant other, stomping around me, angry parent, I held my keys and phone, said my say, noted the window exits and got out ASAP.

I go to a high school to check out a client, and a cop is sitting in the lobby. This is apparently his job...

Ah the life of a social worker...